


News of my death has been greatly exaggerated

by NeverHadThePlot



Series: Pick me up and piece me together [11]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Deaf Clint Barton, Dom Phil Coulson, Dom Steve Rogers, Dom/sub, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Phil's Family - Freeform, Sub Clint Barton, Sub Drop, The Avengers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 12:57:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17828999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverHadThePlot/pseuds/NeverHadThePlot
Summary: The Avengers have just won the battle of New York, but at what cost? Clint finds out his Dom died in the fight and collapses into inconsolable grief. Can the Avengers keep him alive long enough to Phil to come out of surgery?





	News of my death has been greatly exaggerated

“To Agent Coulson,” Stark toasted, standing up and holding his glass out. Everyone around the table stood and echoed the toast. Clint froze in his seat staring wide eyed at his new team. Tasha stared back, still in her seat having frozen when Tony spoke.

Clint found his voice and stumbled through the words he didn’t want the answer to, “What do you mean?”

“Do you not know?” Stark asked, not registering the faraway look in Clint’s eye, “Coulson died on the helicarrier, Loki stabbed him.”

“No.” Clint gasped. He started shaking and fell out of his chair. He started hyperventilating, curling himself into a ball, barely registering the long stream of “no, no, no, no, no” that was falling out of his mouth.

“Shit.” Tasha swore.

“What the fuck just happened?” Tony demanded as the whole team stared down at Clint with worried eyes.

“You just told an unstable sub that his dom was dead.” Natasha responded falling to her knees and placing her hands on his face. “You’re okay Clint. You’re okay, c’mon, pull yourself together, you know we have no way to pull you out of it if you drop. C’mon Misha.” Clint didn’t register a word she was saying. Or the uproar of the team behind her.

“Wait, Barton is a Sub? How the hell did we miss that?” Stark demanded.

“Tony, this really isn’t the best time to-” Bruce murmured.

“No, what the fuck man. What’re they doing training subs to be secret agents?” 

“This is not the time Tony.” Steve commanded, “Natasha, what do we do?”

“I have no idea.” She murmured, stroking Clint’s face, trying to draw his attention to her.

Her statement was met with a beat of silence, “what do you mean you have no idea. Aren’t you supposed to be his best friend?”

“Yes, and there is only one person in his whole life who Barton has ever willingly subbed for.” That was met by more silence. “He’s dropping fast; we need to get him to Doctor Evans.” 

“I have doctors in the tower.” Tony offered.

“No, thank you, but Evans will have at least some idea of how to look after him. I know a few things, but I’m a neutral, he won’t respond to me. It has to be someone he trusts.” 

Steve stepped up and crouched on the other side of Clint. “Clint?” he asked quietly.

Clint’s litany of “no, no, no,” stopped briefly and he tilted his head. Natasha made a ‘go on’ gesture at Steve. “Clint, we have to go back to the helicarrier, do you think you can stand?”

Clint’s unseeing eyes fixed on Steve. He nodded slowly, Steve and Tasha each took an arm and helped him to his feet. “Have we got a way to get there, Tony?”

“Yeah, sure. Um. Let’s go to the roof of the tower.” Tony mumbled, then took out his phone and started speaking rapidly to Happy, his eyes trained on Clint the entire time.

“Okay Clint, this way, can you walk?” Steve asked again, and Clint followed him pliantly.

Nat whipped her phone out and called Fury. “I’m a little busy right now Romanov. This better be good.”

“Barton’s dropping, hard.” She told him in a clipped tone.

“Shit.” Fury said emphatically. 

“We’re bringing him back to the ‘carrier, but without Phil-”

“He’s alive.” 

“What?” she asked sharply.

“Don’t tell the others, not yet. Doctors managed to revive him when you stole the quinjet, but he’s in a very critical condition. They don’t know if he will make it, but maybe-”

“We can sedate Barton, just until-”

“Get him to the ‘carrier, see if your team can calm him down, even just a little. You know Phil’s tricks with him, you were on enough missions with them Romanov. Just keep him stable until Phil can.”

“Understood sir, is Doctor Evans available?”

“I’ll make sure she is when you arrive, what’s your ETA?” 

Natasha turned to Tony, “ETA on the ‘carrier, Stark?”

“Twelve minutes.” She relayed the information and hung up. “What’s going on Romonov?”

She glanced at Clint, “What do you say we take your hearing aids out, Misha? You’ve had them in non-stop for days, they must be uncomfortable.” Clint just nodded and allowed her to take them out as the team climbed into the elevator. She turned to the rest of them, “Phil’s alive. They revived him when we were on the way to the battle.”

“Don’t you think he needs to know that?” Stark demanded jerking a thumb at the trembling sub.

“No.” It was Bruce who answered, “He’s had too many shocks to the system, any more and we could be looking at catatonia or a coma. Subs brains don’t work the same way.”

“Okay, so what do we do?”

“Phil’s alive, but unstable. They aren’t sure he’s going to wake up. We can’t give him that false hope. Fury’s got Evans standing by, he’s probably got serious medical issues on top of this drop. Steve, if you don’t mind, he trusted you enough to follow you here, maybe you will be able to get him to take care of himself?”

“I’ll do my best.” Steve responded earnestly as they all climbed into the chopper.

“Thanks, any chance you speak sign language?”

“No, sorry. Can we not put his aids back in?” 

“We can, but Clint only speaks in sign when he’s in sub drop, at least until he starts to come out of it.”

“Why?” Steve asked curiously.

“He didn’t learn to speak till he was seven, silence was ingrained in him by then. Don’t worry, I can translate for you, so can Evans. She learned when she became the only Doctor Clint would see.”

“That was nice of her.”

“Yes, it was.” Natasha agreed. They lapsed into silence as the helicopter took off.

Evans met them when the helicopter landed with a stretcher. Steve helped Clint to lie down and she immediately started cuffing him to the rails. “Is that necessary?” Steve asked, Clint had gone down pliantly, he couldn’t imagine him thrashing around in this state.

“Trust me,” Evans said as they began wheeling the sub through the ‘carrier, “It’s for his own good. If we don’t strap him down without Coulson here then he will escape. He always does.”

“Escape?” Thor asked, “Why would he do such a thing?”

“He is distrustful of everyone and everything. Especially Dom’s he doesn’t recognise. He also hates medical more than just about anything.” She wheeled him into an empty room and set up a drip in his arm to rehydrate him, then began examining him. He started thrashing on the bed, “Nat!” The Doctor called, and Tasha was on his other side, stroking his face.

“Shh Clint. It’s okay, you’re alright. You’re safe, I’m here.” He thrashed his hands and blew out a frustrated breath. Her eyes widened as she realised the problem, “Doc, he can’t sign with his hands like that.”

“Let me finish examining him, then I’ll release his hands.” She responded, slapping a blood pressure cuff around his arm.

Tasha nodded and signed to her partner, ‘Calm down Clint. You’re safe, we’re in the ‘carrier. Evans is just checking you over for damage. She’ll release your hands when she’s sure you aren’t injured.’ Clint rattled his hands again and started thrashing his head from side to side again. “Steve.” Nat called.

“What can I do?” He asked coming up beside her.

‘Misha, is it okay if Steve touches you?’ The sub paused for a moment, as if thinking, then nodded. “Just stroke his hair Steve, you can’t speak to him ‘cuz you won’t be able to understand each other, but maybe you can comfort him.” Steve nodded and moved to cared his hand through Clint’s hair. The sub seemed to relax slightly at the touch.

“Okay, he’s dehydrated and sleep deprived, I want to sedate him,” Evans said as she unbuckled his hands, speaking to Tasha who nodded for her to proceed. A few moments later the subs eyes slipped closed and he seemed to go boneless. There was a collective sigh of relief in the room.

“Will he be alright Doctor?” Thor asked quietly and she looked at him with sad eyes. 

“He will recover from the physical injuries. But the sub drop.” She shook her head, “Unless we find a Dom who can communicate with him as well as Phil does, he will be lost to his mind.”

“Do you have an update on Phil?” Natasha asked and the doctor shook her head.

“He’s hanging on by the skin of his teeth, but all we can do now is wait and see.”

“Thanks Evans.”

“Anytime. Now, if you don’t mind, I have other patients to attend to?”

“Of course.”

The Doctor smiled, “Call me when he wakes up. And it would probably be better if there were fewer of you here when that happens. You don’t want to spook him with a room full of Doms he barely knows.”

Everyone nodded. “If he’s such a troubled sub, if he can’t cope with anyone but Agent to bring him out of sub drop, then why the hell is he out in the field?” Tony demanded.

Natasha’s eyes flashed dangerously, “Clint has earned his place here a hundred times over Stark. You don’t get to judge him until you get to know him.”

“Is he not a liability?”

“The first time we met,” Tasha said, sitting down on the edge of his bed, “He was seventeen and had a broken arm. He was escaping from a group of mercenary’s that had been holding him captive and forcibly down for six months. He still took the time to save my life when one of the mercs stumbled across my path. I’d been hiding from them for a couple of weeks. Clint let himself get captured again so that I could get free. And he didn’t even know who I was. He saw me fighting, knew I was good, but still loosed his final arrow to save me instead of himself. They tortured him for his efforts.” 

There was silence for a moment. “Subs still shouldn’t-”

“Cram your stereotypes Stark. You’ve seen him shoot, you know how good his aim is.” Natasha was growing angry.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, I’ve just never seen a sub drop like that.” That was Tony Stark, actually apologizing.

“I defy any sub to be as strong as Clint when finding out the person they’d given complete control of their life and heart to has died. Especially considering he hasn’t eaten, drank or slept in the last four days. Not to mention the battle and brainwashing.”

“C’mon Tony, let’s go find a place to crash for a few hours.” Bruce put a hand on Tony’s shoulder, and he let himself be led out, Thor trailing behind them. Steve fell into the plastic chair beside the bed.

“You two are close?” Steve asked, reaching out almost unconsciously to place his giant hand on top of Clint’s.

“He was the first friend I ever made. Before that, my life was the red room and brainwashing and stone cold assassin. I couldn’t understand why this scrawny, desperate kid would risk his own life to save mine. I eventually got to my target on the mercs base, took him out, but then I found Clint again when I was searching the base. He was chained to the wall, blindfolded and bloody. But he wasn’t down. He’d fought them on it this time. I got him down, found his bow and we fought to get out together. We sort of broke Budapest in the process.” She gave him a wry smile, “By the time we reached safety I’d grown attached to the kid, I didn’t understand why, we couldn’t even communicate because he didn’t have any hearing aids. I patched him up and left him behind. Assassins can’t afford to get attached to people. My next job, I found an arrow pinned through the throat of my target, a note with a location jotted on it. Little punk had followed me for three weeks and I never even noticed. After that we spent a few months teamed up, teaching each other new tricks and taking on two man jobs.”

“And you came to SHIELD together?” Steve asked, smiling gently.

“No. I caught wind that someone from my past was on my trail. I sent him away. Clint was good, but not good enough to take on the red room. The things I saw them do to subs.” She shuddered. “I didn’t see him for another six years after that. I ditched my trail, but stayed away from him. I didn’t want to get my only friend killed. Caught wind he’d joined SHIELD, I knew they were looking for me. So I found a mission Clint was on and took the target out from under his nose. He came and found me, convinced Phil to recruit me.”

“Were Phil and Clint together, back then?” Steve asked curiously.

“Yeah, I missed their wedding by a couple of weeks. Apparently they got together like three months after Clint joined SHIELD. It was nice to see him so happy; I decided if Phil Coulson could bring peace to someone as troubled as Clint, well, then maybe SHIELD wasn’t such a terrible place.”

Clint stirred in his sleep and suddenly woke, screaming.

“Tasha, I’ve lost my collar. It’s gone. I need it. My collar, Tasha-” Clint started hyperventilating, grasping desperately at his empty throat.

Tasha pulled his hands away, “It’s okay Clint, calm down, you’re okay.” She held his hands down until he fell back into an uneasy sleep.

Steve blew out a breath, his heart thumping at the sudden outbreak, “This is going to be a long night, isn’t it?”

Tasha smiled at him wryly, “long month probably, Clint was pretty messed up before he got brainwashed and his dom died.”

“How long before we can tell him the truth?” He asked, frowning.

“Till we know for sure that Phil will actually live.”

…

When it became clear that Clint wasn’t going to pull out of this drop any time soon Fury made the decision to call in Phil’s mother. She knew the kind of work her sons did already, having worked for the agency herself years ago, so it was only breaking a few protocols to bring her in. Fury explained to her Phil’s condition, that he was still unstable but the doctors remained hopeful. Then he explained to her that Clint had dropped and they were out of ideas of how to help him. They couldn’t risk giving him the hope that Phil was alive until they were positive he would remain so for fear of making his condition worse if Phil deteriorated.

Shirley got on the next available plane to New York, Carla and Rosie in tow.

“Shirley, this is a secure ward, I can’t allow you to bring a child in.” Fury crossed his arms and stood his ground in front of Clint’s bedroom door.

She gave him her best Coulson stare, “That boy is in sub drop Marcus. Now I don’t know much about his history, but I know enough to know that not a lot can bring him out of it. And that he only speaks sign when he is in sub drop.” She crossed her arms, “Rosie is both family, and can speak in sign. If any one of us can help him, it’s her.”

Fury held up his hands, “She doesn’t need to see her uncle this way, Shirley. This is literally the worst drop I have ever seen, which is saying a lot when you consider my line of work.”

“Hey, mister. If you don’t let me see my Uncle now, then I might not get the chance again. He needs someone he knows and trusts who can speak his language, yes? I’m not a dom, but I am those two things. Also, I’m fifteen and clearly no threat. Everyone else in his life,” she glanced around the room, “I’m guessing are spies or something, which means weapons. He needs to feel safe. I know what happens to subs in drop. Bad shit. So let me see him before you end up killing him.”

“I’ll be in there the whole time Fury. He won’t hurt her.” Romanov interrupted, “He’s too docile in subspace to do much anyway, but I’ll be there just in case.”

Fury glared at her too, just for good measure. She met his gaze coolly until he blew out a breath, “Fine, but don’t blame me when she comes back mentally scarred.”

Rosie rolled her eyes, “Oh please, I’m not that delicate Nick.” And with that she pushed past him and into Clint’s room.

“Can we see Phil now?” Shirley asked politely. Fury nodded and led her and Carla away. 

…

Rosie sucked in a sharp breath when she caught sight of Clint. He was buried in a nest of blankets in the far corner of the room (the rest of the team having boarded up the underside of the bed so he couldn’t hide under there.) rocking back and forth with his head to his knees.

“Clint?” She asked tentatively. He stopped rocking for a second but didn’t look up. She took a few tentative steps into the room and tried again as Tasha slipped in behind her, “Uncle Clint, it’s me, Rosie.” He did look up at that, a flicker of recognition crossed his otherwise emotionless face. ‘Hello. Do you remember me?’ she signed now he was looking at her.

He peeled his shaking hands away from his knees and signed back, ‘Hi Rosie.’

She smiled and moved closer. He pushed himself further against the wall. ‘How you doing Clint?’

He shook his head, ‘I miss Phil. Where is he?’

Rosie widened her eyes and looked back at Tasha. She couldn’t tell him Phil was dead, not when it wasn’t true. ‘Phil’s not here, Misha.’

He let out a pathetic little sob and buried his face back into the blankets. “You don’t want Phil anyway.” Rosie called out chipper, sliding down to sit cross legged in front of him, “He’s boring. You can hang out with me, right Uncle Clint?” He looked up again and scrubbed at his face, ‘Grandma and Auntie Carla are here too. They’re just arguing with Mr Fury right now.’

He gave her a watery smile, ‘See, there’s the annoying jackass I know.’ He coughed out a laugh, ‘Can I hug you now Uncle Clint, I haven’t seen you in like forever?’ He nodded and opened his arms. Rosie crawled into them and wrapped her own around his waist, squeezing as hard as she could.

“Everything’s gonna be alright.”

“I’m the grown-up; shouldn’t I be telling you that?”

“You’re sick, you get a pass.” Clint snorted. He could feel parts of his brain function coming back to him. It was good. Until it wasn’t. Until he remembered Phil was dead and it was his fault and Loki had taken him and he’d destroyed the ‘carrier and killed his friends. His brain started to shut down again. He started hyperventilating, withdrawing his arms from Phil’s niece and wrapping them protectively around himself. He barely heard the confused, “Clint?” as he started rocking himself again.

Rosie glanced back at Natasha uncertainly. She smiled and signed, ‘go on. That’s the first thing he’s said in two days.’ 

Rosie took a breath and nodded, turning back to Clint, “Hey Uncle Clint, you’re okay. You’re safe here. No one’s gonna hurt you.” He looked up again, his eyes watering, ‘You’re safe.’

He shook his head, ‘I hurt Phil. It’s my fault he’s gone.’

Rosie frowned, ‘I’m pretty sure it’s not Clint. They told me that Loki stabbed him.’ She reached out to stroke his arm soothingly.

‘I attacked the ‘carrier, s’my fault.’ He signed again. Rosie bit her lip, unsure what was going on. They hadn’t really explained anything to her.

“No Clint.” Tasha interrupted, “We’ve been over this. None of it was your fault. Loki brainwashed you. It wasn’t your fault.”

Clint just shook his head at her, flinching as the door to his room opened again. Mrs Coulson stepped through the door and he felt as though his heart stopped as he stared at her. She didn’t say anything, just held her arms out and walked towards him. Clint had no conscious thought that led him to get up and go to her. But he found himself being held tightly and rocked by his mother-in-law as he sobbed into her blouse on the floor.

“Shh, you’re okay Sweetheart. We’ve got you. You’re okay.” She whispered, pressing kisses into his hairline. 

Shirley guided Clint back to his bed and helped him to lie down, then brought the blanket up to cover him. She then sat at the head of the bed, carding her fingers through his hair, “Sleep Clint, you’ll feel better.” He let his eyes slip shut with a soft sigh and tilted his head into the touch.

…

When he woke the room was dark and he was alone. He sat up and tried not to panic. A few seconds later the door opened and Steve walked in, Clint found himself on his knees at his feet without consciously deciding to be there. Steve stopped and stared down at him, surprise flitting across his face.

“Well that’s new,” Tasha said from behind Steve.

He recovered himself and slid a hand into Clint’s hair, the sub tilted his head into the touch. “C’mon Clint, back to bed.” Steve ordered, Clint immediately crawled to his bed and clambered in. Steve pulled the blanket around him and perched on the edge of the bed, continuing to pet him.

“What’s new?” He asked Tasha once he had the sub settled. Clint wrapped his arms around Steve and burrowed his face into his side.

“I’ve never seen Clint kneel for anyone but Phil. Several of those ranking above him here have tried to force him but he always refused. He’d never willingly do it for anyone but Phil, especially without being asked.”

“Huh.” Steve said, “So why did he kneel for me?”

Tasha tilted her head and watched the pair on the bed for a moment. “He must trust you.” She finally said.

Cap looked up at that, “He barely knows me. You said he doesn’t trust people.”

“There’s only two people I’ve ever known him to trust.” She said, folding herself into the visitors chair.

“You and Coulson?” He asked and she nodded, “So how?”

“Hmm, well, Phil trusts you; he did before he even met you. Maybe it translated.”

…

Steve guided Clint down the corridor carefully until they were stood outside Phil’s hospital room door. They had managed to keep the sub calm for the past few days, Steve trading off with Mrs Coulson, Carla and Rosie, but he was still very much locked inside his own head. He’d barley even registered what they were saying when they told him Phil was alive.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked Natasha quietly, half an eye still on Clint who was staring at the floor submissively.

“Phil’s awake. He needs Clint just as much as Clint needs him. The longer Clint stays in this drop, the more permanently damaging it could become.” She responded softly, her eyes also on her best friend, concern written deeply across her face.

Steve nodded and opened the door, “Come on Clint.” He gently pushed Clint inside, and stood in the doorway.

The sub gasped as he looked at the man in the bed and immediately dropped to his knees, “Phil?”

“Hey there Little Bird.” Phil’s voice was dry and raspy, but full of warmth. He held out a shaky hand, “Come here baby.”

Steve was surprised that Clint didn’t bother standing; he just crawled to his dom’s side. Phil ran his outstretched hand through Clint’s hair and the sub trembled, the tension bleeding out of his body.

“Hey now,” Phil said, wiping his thumb beneath Clint’s eye as he let out a sudden sobbing sound, “there’s no need for tears baby boy.” Clint took in a few gulping breaths and tried to control himself but the trembling only got worse, the torrent of tears falling faster. “You’re okay baby boy, I’ve got you. Why don’t you come up here?”

Steve moved into the room to help the trembling sub onto the bed. Clint immediately curled into Phil’s side and buried his face in the crook of his neck, still sobbing in earnest as he clutched at his dom like an octopus. Phil gave Steve a grateful look, then wrapped his arms around Clint and started whispering soft assurances into his hair. “I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry. I’m here, I love you, you’re such a good boy. I’m so sorry I let him take you away from me, so sorry they let you think I was dead. I’ll never let anyone take you away from me again. You’re such a brave boy Clint. I love you so much.” He continued stroking Clint’s back, dropping kisses into his hair until the sub had calmed down. His breathing evened out and he dropped into the most peaceful sleep Steve had ever seen him in.

Phil looked up and caught Steve’s eye, “Thank you Steve, for looking after him.”

Steve smiled and shrugged a shoulder, “It was my pleasure. I was just worried about him. I’ve never seen a sub drop so hard in my life.”

“He’d been through a lot.” Phil murmured quietly, “I’m just relieved he let you in.”

“Not as much as he lets you in. We managed to keep him stable, but he’s still in drop.”

Phil nodded, “I know, it’ll take him a while. It always does.” They were silent for a long moment before Phil looked up again. “Will you do me a favour?” He asked, stroking the patch of skin where Clint’s collar should be.

“Sure, anything.” Steve agreed easily.

“His collar, it’s still in my desk draw in my office, could you fetch it? It should help to ground him, at least a little.”

“Of course.” He went to walk away but paused in the doorway, “It’s good to see you awake, Agent Coulson.”

Phil smiled, “Thank you Captain.”

…

When Steve came back the couple were fast asleep, curled around each other protectively. He smiled softly, glad Clint had finally found some peace. Placing the collar on the bedside table he left quietly, shutting the door softly behind himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers.


End file.
